Halloween Misfortune

God. x.x Fuck my life. I hate myself right now.

So, Halloween is a fun holiday. I love dressing up and all. But, it is evil. Not just witches and demons evil, but actual evil x.x I had been doing pretty well recently with my ana. Green bell peppers and salads with those 1-calorie-per-spray dressings have made up majority of my diet, recently, with the exception of on Wednesday when I ate a vegan chicken patty thing. But then along came halloween. >.> I was helping a friend give out candy, and she was eating a lot of it, since there weren't many people coming by. And then, well, I started eating it too. I must have eaten, like, 1000 calories worth of chocolate!!! God damn it, I am such a fat pig. I'm so fucking disgusted with myself right now. I'll make sure to go running more frequently, but I think its probably already too late to reverse the damage. Fuck my life. And fuck you, Halloween.

Ugh. The story of my F*king life.

My name is Rachel. I am making this bloggie to talk about my anorexia. I have been ana for 4 years. If you have a problem with it, then you shouldn't be reading my blog(Blaaaaagh), so keep your mouth shut. You just don't know what its like. I'm not here to be lectured about "lyke,omguneedtoeatmore!!!" got it? Good. Anyways, I am 17 years old. I'm 5'8" and weigh 115. When I first started, I was 139. I have never had a boyfriend, nor have I ever been asked out by anyone. I swim a lot, and its so embarassing to have to wear a swim suit. If it weren't for how much I love it, I would quit swimming. As mentioned, I like swimming, but I also play clarinet and have a really cute cat. His name is Tobias, and he's a big main coon. I like him, I guess, because he's so big. It makes me feel like there's someone I can relate to, even though he's really really cute. For a cat, though, it just makes them cuddly. (hellyeah, he's my cuddle bitch!) He's the one thing that really makes me feel better about myself. He's a really sweet kitty. Anyways, so, this is my bloggie.